Just a little update

I don't really have much to say, just wanted to give a little update since I haven't posted about the infertility since August. Nothing has changed- I told you on the post in August that Dr. Long recommended us getting a second opinion and that I was going to try to talk Jarrod into letting us take advantage of that and go on a mini vacation. Well, somehow I did it :-)  We are going to Boston to Boston IVF in the beginning of December. I had a free round trip airline ticket so I found the top ART (assisted reproductive technology) programs in the country and then looked up which one would be the cheapest to get to. Boston and Chicago were tied, but the Chicago clinic was not actually in Chicago- we would've had to take a cab to a nearby suburb. Boston has a transportation system that includes bus, commuter rail, subway, and boats. We can pay a small amount each ($15 ish) and use all the transportation modes the whole weekend we are there. Boston IVF is a one of the commuter rail stops therefore Boston won. I also got a REALLY good deal on a hotel. Its called Club Quarters. Apparently they are in all the big cities. It is only $79 a night, so less that $200 with taxes and all for our stay. I looked up ALOT of reviews and it seems to be nice, well adequate at least. Worst case we can move to a different hotel, but as long as it is clean and I don't see any bugs then I don't think we'll have a problem. We will be seeing Dr. Ryley- he specializes in genetic disorders. We are going thinking Dr. Ryley is going to tell us anything that we don't already know, we think that Dr. Long has done as much as anyone can do, but we just want peace of mind.
As far as that goes we are doing ok dealing with the fact that we just don't know what is going to happen. Jarrod yearns for a child as much as I do, but he handles it a little better. As much as I don't want to admit this I am struggling with jealousy. I guess its normal, but its a sin and I don't want to feel that way. I don't have ill feelings towards anyone I just want to be like a normal couple and have a baby the natural way. I say I don't have ill feelings towards people, but I guess I do sometimes. I know that infertility is hard to understand- meaning unless you have been through it there is no way you can know how it feels. Also I think the longer you suffer from it the deeper it hurts. It was hard after one year, but now after four its different. Anyway, the point is that when I hear someone complain about their pregnancy or about their kids I sure don't have any sympathy for them- I want to yell at them that they should be appreciative. We have paid thousands of dollars, taken medications that make you sick and feel crazy, and had surgeries for just a chance to be pregnant.
With that being said, for the most part I am doing ok with it all. Jarrod has been very supportive. Its hard at times, but we know that God has big plans for us. One thing we have both learned is that we are not promised a biological child. I am trying to deal with the reality that I may never be pregnant. The only promise God has given us is eternal life. All we can do is pray and focus our lives on where God is leading us.